Fear of Flying Solo

I'm having a hard time admitting to this. No, I haven't got writer's block. At least not exactly. 'Thoeba' will be out in June, and my beta readers are reporting favorable opinions about 'Aphrodite's War'. It's time to start writing 'Chasing Monsters'. In fact, I've started the character resumes and the outline. The problem is...I'm nervous. This will be the first time since I started writing Thoeba that I will have no critique partners. I will be writing my novel without anyone to tell me when I'm being cartoony, or how I could tighten my sentence a little more. There will be no one there to check my grammar or give me kudos for a nice turn of phrase. I'll be going at this alone and it scares me a bit. What if I compose the entire book and find out it sucks and I can't write without someone holding my hand? What if I discover I'm really not that talented? I feel like I'm sitting on the edge of the nest and somebody is fixing to kick me in the pants. Still, I'm a big believer in change being a good thing. In a lot of ways this will make me a better writer. I will be forced to rely on myself rather than anybody else. It will give me a more critical eye. I will learn a new kind of discipline. Besides, this ties right in with my tendency to do things BECAUSE I'm afraid of them. There are hundreds of writers out there who've never even HAD the benefit of crit partners. I'm going to count myself as fortunate, and use all the valuable things I learned from Suzanne, Jan, and Dawn. It's time to jump off the branch head-first.

Get by with a Little Help From my Friends

Been really busy lately. Mostly getting the little things done. Writing outlines and guest blogs...herding cats. Snow tires are off and I'm almost finished washing walls. I love my friends but I SWEAR the next time one of them says "Oh hey, you could come wash mine." I will scream. Seriously. Is that supposed to be funny? When I meet you people in hell, I'm going to ask, "Hot enough for ya?"

Nah...Even as I bitch, I smile. It's months like this that I'm grateful for the whole bunch. It never ceases to amaze me how I wound up with them in the first place.

Growing up, I was extremely unpopular. Being the only one wearing Metallica and Megadeth shirts in a town of 2000 will do that. I had three friends.

I don't know when my loner tendencies came to an end. I think it started with Facebook. I only joined because my writer's group demanded it. As resistant as I was, it let me keep in touch with all my new friends who shared a common interest in the gift of words. Then it happened...Highschool classmates that I thought didn't care about me friended me in droves. As my confidence grew, I attended places like EPIC, Kendo and writing clubs alone until people started talking to me.

And thanks to facebook, I was able to hang on to people I used to work with as well, despite how job situations change and we all move forward with our swamped lifestyles.I even kept friends from therapy.

I was shy and moody. Now I'm happy and overwhelmed with my love for all kinds of people.

And the best part is the variety! Everybody's there from Christians to Zombiewalkers. I have a smorgasbord of writers, jewelry makers, photographers and other creative people. There's paranormal interest peeps, gays, lesbians, school chums, bikers, goths, kendokka, former employees and co-workers.

All of you make me feel RICH, and you've made my life interesting. This post is for you.

*And a shout out to Dawn Ius, another good friend I met through a writing group. HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAWN!! (She's the brunette on the right in the photo. She did my wedding photography)

Uninspired? Clean your desk!

Yeah, I know. A clean desk is the sign of a sick mind. Don't worry, as I write this I'm already getting hummus on the keyboard.

I know my last post was rather sad (Freya is doing just fine) and last week I didn't bother but that doesn't mean I sat on my butt wallowing in contrition. No,I got busy. I made wine from a kit and I washed walls. I ran errands, made appointments, and spent much needed time with friends.

Today, I tackled my desk. And it felt good.

The fun part of cleaning your desk is the treasures you rediscover. Here's some of mine:

A stack of business cards, all from the new friends I made on my trip to Washington three years ago.

An R2-D2 USB key.

A button that says 'Be a Goddess" advertising thegoddessblogs.com

A card representing the word I adopted but rarely use--'macellarious' It means pertaining to butchers. "In matters macellarious, you can speak to Donna, the former Meat Manager."

Old critique notes from 'Aphrodite's War.

And a recipe for Monster Breakfast Cookies...which I'll share with you.


MONSTER BREAKFAST COOKIES

1/2 cup butter, softened 1 cup brown sugar, packed 2 Eggs
1/2 cup canola oil 1/2 cup of honey 1 tsp. vanilla
3 cups of instant oats 2 1/2 cups Robin Hood Nutri-flour blend 1/2 cup ground flax seed
1/4 cup sesame seeds 1/4 cup poppy seeds 1/4 cup regular flax seeds
1 tsp. baking soda 1 tsp. cinnamon 1 cup raisins

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Grease or line baking sheets with parchment paper.

2. Beat butter and brown sugar until creamy. Beat in eggs, one at a time. Add oil, honey, and vanilla. Add next six ingredients. Stir in raisins.

3. Place 1/4 cup dough for each cookie on baking sheets. Flatten slightly.

4. Bake in preheated oven 20-25 minutes, until golden brown. These cookies freeze well. Makes 24 large cookies.

How do they taste? I have no idea. I don't bake.