Interesting place you have here....
My name is Thoeba, and I come to you from Eden.
I'll be the first to admit I haven't spent a lot of time in your realm before. I used to think your species was not unlike a ball of angry monkeys playing with matches. You made me nervous, you humans. But now that I've spent more time with your kind, I've learned a lot about you.
About your different foods, cultures, sports, fashions and belief systems. Fascinating. Did I mention the food? And there's so many different kinds of everything! All packed onto one tiny planet. And your thirst for knowledge and new ideas grows by leaps and bounds! Your technological advances mark you as an ambitious and impatient bunch, but I like it. It's exciting and new for me.
There are so many new things to discover here. I haven't had an adventure like this for decades, and I look forward to sharing them with you each week.