I am an Unwashed Heathen

I'm sitting at the edge of my chair, watching the clock and sniffing my armpits. My brand new hot water tank has just been installed, and I can't WAIT until the water is ready for a steaming hot, lingering shower, so I can scrape the day off without having to boil water first. It's like camping, without the secure knowledge of WHEN you can go back to civilization.

I know who my friends are...the ones that don't seem to mind that I don't smell the freshest, or that my hair looks and feels like playdoh. But the best ones are the kind that let you come over to borrow their shower.

It's either sneak showers when you can, or sponge-bath no-pants. And dry shampoo? I think I'd rather shave my head.

We don't plan ahead in this house. We wait until something completely, unfixably croaks before we get new stuff.  Replacing a fridge is also like camping...with more coolers. Need a new stove? Hello Take-Out week and barbeque. Don't ask about the furnace. I'm trying not to jynx myself.

If the world ends in 2012, and I survive it, shoot me anyway. I don't think I could ever adapt to a world without hot running water. Or internet. Or toilets. (Insert long Thanksgiving list of things I'm grateful for here.)

P.S.-Alyssa Suzanne, contact me. I still have your contest prize.