Fun Facts about Thoeba

This cover was done by Terra Weston

My first novel is called Thoeba, and I'm very proud of it. If you have never--or if you HAVE read it, you might find these five facts about it interesting.

1. Thoeba was inspired by a dream: When I was fourteen, I dreamed that I was hiding in a huge garden. A dark haired man and his daughter found me. They tried to coax me out, but  I could see two demons flying overhead, looking for me. All I could say was, "Thoeba! Thoh-BAH!" The spelling is something I pictured in my head. Yeah, weird dreams, and it stuck with me all these years.

2. All the flight jargon/airplane stuff is real: My father was a recreational pilot, and I shared his love of airplanes and flying. I used that knowledge to the best of my ability for the book. The Fairchild is a real airplane from the fifties, but I've never flown in one. I chose it because the photo I saw matched my idea of a rickety old aircraft that may or not fly at such an advanced age. (Sorry, I couldn't find that photo now.)

3. A fishing trip changed the location of the novel: Despite the fact that I'd never been to the Eastern coast, I thought I'd set it there. Peter was supposed to be a fisherman by trade. My husband and I took a fishing trip to Cold Lake, Alberta, and fell in love with the place and the people we met there. The campground, the cabin, Pelican Rock, and the pristine lake itself are all things we got to experience first hand. Only the bar and the actual military installation are made up.

This is the campground! Photo by Travel Alberta

4. Thoeba once had a different publisher and a different cover: Thoeba was originally published with Vamptasy Publishing out of Scotland. I got to pick the cover. I chose it because I felt that Thoeba acted as though she were made of stone, but you can see the sadness in the statue's bearing.

Thoeba's first cover

5. I regret naming the book Thoeba: It s a BAD IDEA to name your book something no one can spell or pronounce. Plus you will spend the rest of your life trying to politely correct people when they misspell it or pronounce it badly. For the record--It's pronounced Thoe...like 'toe' with a 'th' in front of it, and Bah, as in Humbug. Thoe-BAH. I still love the originality of it, and I can't bear to change it. I Googled it once, and it only shares a name with an Asian girl on Twitter, whose real name isn't Thoeba, and I'm sure she doesn't know my book exists.

I hope you liked learning five facts about Thoeba. Do you have any questions? There's more coming. Next: Five facts about Aphrodite's War.

So You Want to be a Writer...

I get a lot of private messages from people wanting to write books. I try to answer as well as I can. I don't really have the time or the patience to devote to mentoring, but Hey...we all have to start somewhere. It is NOT lost on me that if my former critique partners hadn't given me a chance and taken the time to show me how it's REALLY done, I wouldn't be the writer I am today.

I wouldn't be just 'average'. I'd be worse than average. I'd be the painfully average writer who didn't understand why she sucked. Having straight A's in English and Literature doesn't automatically make you a good writer. It's more complicated than that. Also, if you want to be a writer, prepare to be humbled, no matter your skill level.

So the next time I get a message asking me about how to write a book, I think I will direct them to this blog. Here's a few pointers:

1. First of all: Accept criticism and advice. Especially if you requested it. Put your ego away. "No one became great by being told they were great." Stephen King. Even Mr. King himself doesn't get it right on the first draft.

Example: "Donna, you are not the narrator. Lose the 'God' voice. Real writers don't do that. You need to learn what a POV is." Incidentally, POV stands for 'Point of View'. I discovered I had to write from the character's viewpoint, not mine.

2. Do some research: Writing a fictional story in Egypt? Research their clothing,food, belief systems, everything. Is your book set in Salem, Massachusetts but you've never been there? Better Google Map it and  learn everything you can about the history--even if it doesn't coincide with the story you're writing. You'll still need atmosphere and texture. Writing about Dukes and Duchesses? Study everything about their caste system for starters. If you don't...someone who knows about it WILL call you out on it, and you are cheating your readers who are relying on you to give them a thorough experience through fiction. NOTE: If you are writing NON-fiction, based on your life and experience? Read books and quote others besides yourself. Why would anyone buy your advice based solely on your own experiences?

Example: Real Vikings never wore horns on their helmets. That's a movie thing. Real vikings were only about five foot six tall. They ate venison, duck, and berries. They were the first known humans to be able to consume milk from other animals--and that was goat milk.

3. Build a platform and practice: I give this advice a lot, but what does it mean? It means you start a blog or a newsletter and develop a social media presence. (Facebook, Twitter, Scrivner, Linked In, etc.) You let people know that you're out there in the world of writing and you have serious intentions. You will need a following and to connect with writers of your genre. You will also learn how to hone your craft and what your demographic/audience wants from you. This will also train you to write regularly. If you can't commit to a blog, how will you write a book?

Example/Personal Experience: Dive in. Don't be scared. PROMOTE yourself and advertise. Use the free social media at your fingertips to your advantage. Use it often. My biggest downfall in marketing is I have a hard time selling myself. I don't want to be that person, who is constantly hounding you to buy my book. Well...that's why I don't sell a lot of books. Don't be afraid to pass out bookmarks to everyone you meet and say, "Hey! I have a book and a blog and you should check it out!" NOTE: Vistaprint is a great, inexpensive way to create bookmarks and other promotional materials.

4. Believe in your own work:  I don't subscribe to the idea of "Never be caught learning to write." If you do that, you will never have the courage to publish, and you'll spend years working on something that will eventually outdate itself. Or worse? Someone else has the same idea and publishes first. Give it your best shot NOW and cringe later. This won't make you feel better, but most writers are highly critical of their own work--even after it's published.

Example/Personal experience: I know someone with a brilliant idea for a zombie series. He's been on it for over ten years. It's just not good enough yet. I told him to commit. Make it happen. Don't wait a few more years for it to be perfect, because there's no such thing as perfect. Do you want your legacy to be "Could have published a great zombie series?" Get an editor, or at least beta readers,  and get started.

5. Use better verbs and less obvious adjectives. Avoid cliches. Why say, "He hated her like the plague., and he wanted so badly to kill her. " When you could say, "He despised her and fantasized about burying her belly to the hilt of his sword." Much more graphic. Why say 'run' when you can say, sprinted, tore, raced or charged? The Thesaurus is your friend. Why use a worn metaphor? Why not use your own disgust to create one? Like, "I hated her like vermin on my last loaf of bread." or  if you're writing a modern piece, something like--" She drove me to madness, like the consistent drizzle of the bathroom faucet. The unrelenting hiss always reminded me of my grandmother's resentment." Something like that. Make it sound personal.

Example/Personal experience: While looking for another word in the dictionary, I tripped on the word "Perspicacious." I love that word, and I did realize that people would probably have to look it up if I used it. Then again, describing Dr. Thompson's perspicaciousness lent him memorable, creepy insight that made the reader aware of his uncanny intelligence and ability to predict the outcome of his plan. 

There are MANY more tips for writing, but it really comes down to this: How bad do you want it? If you think it's easy, think about the measly five points you've read here and whether or not you want to do them.  If you've skimmed over this blog and shirked them off as unimportant then maybe professional writing isn't for you.

If you're still excited, and still interested...Well...Welcome to the frustrating, mind-wracking, insomnia-inducing, yet still incredibly rewarding world of writing. I'm wishing you luck!

 

Dare to Publish

I finally got my own copies of 'Dare to Shine', and I'm SO PROUD. Oh, and check out the new dye job. I'll be putting the black back on the ends too.

Things are looking up around here. I'm still working pretty much full time. Hours are dwindling, as usual during summer, but for once I'm not panicking.

My troll has more work, and we're doing alright. He doesn't even need to leave the city for it either, much to our relief. It's business as usual, and things are pretty much normal.

Even the writing thing is going well. I'm proud to announce that both 'Thoeba' and 'Aphrodite's War' are now published under my own name via Createspace and Amazon. I have signed them both up for Kindle Unlimited, because there are some very distinct advantages for doing so both for myself and readers. Don't worry...if it turns out to be a bad thing, I can back out. But to me, it looks like a pretty fair shake.

Best of all? 'Her True Name: Volume One" is another step closer to making it to market.

Cover by: Anima Black

I've fixed the tax issue, which was more complicated than it needed to be, but at least it's over. The issue is now a formatting glitch. Unfortunately, it was my fault it happened, but I need help to fix it. That means dragging Heather Savage of Staccato Publishing away from important stuff to get it done. She's doing her best, but she's a very busy woman. Sorry Heather...And I'm sorry to my readers too. I'm hoping this will be the last time this will be so damned complicated. I'm hoping that after we fix this little problem, it will be a matter of a few quick clicks.

It is my hope that from there, we can finally find the time and money to put out 'Chasing Monsters'. I know I've been saying that for a couple of years now, but life got in the way. I'm hoping that this will finally be MY year to get my work out there. Wish me luck.

In the meantime, I implore you to get your own copy of "Dare to Shine." ONE HUNDRED percent of sales go to The Sophie Lancaster Foundation, and it's a cause I'm proud to be a part of.

I am a Fearless Armadillo.

Now you know why writers drink.

When I set out to become a novelist, I honestly had no idea what I was getting into. I figured I would write the books...That's it. I would write the books, and someone else would handle the cover, editors, marketing and money. I would just happily write books.

BWA-HAHAHAHAHA! (Wipes a tear away.)

Just the task of marketing alone must be a testament to the determination of writers everywhere. You know just how serious you are about making it in this business if you are willing to struggle in the futility of finding readers for your hard work.

No, writing is not for the casual dabbler. First you have to write the book. Then you either find an agent and/or a publisher. That requires hours of writing emails for people who often ignore you or frequently reject you. Writers also need the skin of an armadillo. BE the armadillo!

Once you've done that, someone (the editor) will pick apart your work, but it's for your own good, and the good of your work. Be the Armadillo.

Then comes interviews, blogs and reviews, which can be fun...until someone doesn't like you or your work. DON'T piss off a blogger. I had one blogger 'friend' me on Facebook, and send the post she was going to publish. I POLITELY corrected her spelling of 'Thoeba', it's a common mistake for an invented name, and she blasted me, saying it was MY fault she misspelled it because she'd only copied and pasted everything. She went on a Facebook rant about 'disrespectful authors'. She didn't name me, but told all her friends to 'PM' her for details. Ouch. I am an armadillo.

Now I'm finding myself in a place where I've got the goods, but nowhere to put them. I've been looking at self-publishing. I'm a sweating armadillo. Now I have to learn how to format properly and meander around things like 'Createspace'. (Insert panicked laughter here.) I'm barely tech savvy enough to write my own blogs. I've done enough research to know that I will need an expensive editor. My grammar isn't up to snuff, and I doubt my knowledge of legalities is either. Time to toughen up, and open my wallet. Time to learn things and try something I never wanted to do. Sometimes you have to do things BECAUSE you are afraid of them.

I am an armadillo, and I really wish I could curl into a tight little ball right now.

Tiny ferocious Dragon Ball, that's me. RAWR!

Wish me luck.

My First Fan

These aren't Kevin's, but he does have three of them.

So last week I wrote my first blog in weeks. Mostly just to announce that "I'm still here." I got a WHOLE LOTTA support through here, Facebook and Twitter. Thank you!!

That night, I did it. I finished the synopsis for Chasing Monsters. I also did some writing. I think I just needed a little boost, you know? Now I feel like I can move on. Get an agent maybe. New publisher. I have all you guys to thank for it.

Particularly Kevin. I would like to take this time to thank him. He was my first REAL fan. As in, the first person to openly appreciate my work who wasn't related to me, or a long-standing friend of mine. Of course, he's become a dear friend over the years :)

I met him on Farmville when I was still a meatcutter. One day he messaged me and asked my advice on what cut of beef I would recommend for Beef Stroganoff. I was happy to chat about whether he would want to use tenderloin, top sirloin or inside round and why.

This stuff...Beef Stroganoff. Yum!

When I started writing seriously, and Thoeba had been published, he messaged me again, because he loves to read. It escalated from there.

I appreciate Kevin's friendship for more than just writing. He's smart, interesting and kind. He loves cats every bit as much as I do. (He has three.) When I lost Sully, he was there for me. He even wrote a sweet eulogy for Sully's memorial. Even though he never met the cat, he did a beautiful job. He obviously knew Sully's heart.

My favorite pic of Sully and my husband.

He's always encouraging me. It's like he has a kind of radar that tells him when I need a little pep talk for my work. He actually READS this blog. All the time! And he misses it when I don't do it. No really, he does.

Oh, and for the record? The Kevin in Aphrodite's War is NOT based on him! Not even close. That Kevin was inspired by an argumentive creep I once worked with, and a scary guy I met in Chilliwack, BC that sat next to me and carried on an imagined conversation between us when he couldn't get  my attention. I actually caught him imitating me. They were both named Kevin and my character looks like the BC weirdo.

Someday, I'd LOVE to immortalize MY friend Kevin in a book, and maybe give him a a dedication. And I'd like to meet him in person some day. Here's to you, Kevin! Whenever I feel like I'm a terrible writer, or if I just feel a little blue, I'm glad I have your friendship. You always make me smile :)

P.s.--There are no pics of Kevin or his cats because I'm protecting his privacy. I didn't tell him I was writing this ;)

Hashtag: Why Isn't Thoeba in Movies?

Cover art from Terra Weston Koster

I went to see the Hobbit in the theater. I wish I could tell you I loved it. SPOILER ALERT: The truth is, Peter Jackson and Hollywood took a classic children's book, added a romance, embellished an epic battle, dragged the ending out to unnecessary proportions and called it a day. It felt like the movie should have ended after Smaug's death, but they gave us over an hour of (admittedly pretty good) battle scenes. The ending was...unending. But that's not my only reason for ranting.

As always there were previews. Guess what? Not only is there another Star Wars movie coming, but there is also another Terminator AND another Mad Max coming out! Really Hollywood? You've got nothing else?

When I went to Texas for the convention, a writer stood in front of the assembled group and declared, "There are no original ideas." I almost walked out, especially when I heard her latest book idea. If that weren't bad enough, she's got an agent and a contract for a big name publisher.

Sour grapes, you ask? You bet! I work hard to try and come up with original ideas. Nothing bores me more than to read a new book and know exactly how it ends, to know I've seen it somewhere else before.

I can't help but ask: WHY ISN'T THOEBA A MOVIE?

No really...Have you read it? I have sex, death, romance, humor and violence. I also have a decently original plot. Thanks to the evil that is slowly encompassing the world, the Energy (God)  has lost Its power. It is up to one angel to tip the scales back to the side of good. Too bad she has to ally herself with humans, because she isn't very fond of them. I take the concept of life after death and turn it upside down.

I write angels, demons, reincarnation and pepper it with mythology, and I'm proud of what I've created. I can say the same for 'Aphrodite's War' and 'Chasing Monsters'.  What do you get when a paranormal investigator meets a demon with a soul? You'll find out when 'Chasing Monsters' gets published.

What do I have to do to get some attention in this market? Do I constantly have to ask...

#WhyisntThoebainmovies?

What if 'Thoeba' Were a Movie?

.

Cover by Terra Weston-Koster

I've given it some thought before, but it wasn't until my fellow Staccato author, Emma Hibbs did it that I decided to blog about it. Here's Emma's blog about HER cool dream cast.  
http://echibbs.blogspot.co.uk/2014/03/blindsighted-wanderer-my-imaginary.html

 I thought, "Awesome! It's been a long time since I thought about who would act in the movie...and I've never blogged it either."
So I made a small list. Not everybody is going to be here, but the major characters will be. What do you think?


PETER MASON: This guy...Henry Rollins?! You ask. You're probably wondering why I would choose a punk icon to for a romantic lead. It's not just because he's my muse. It's because he's handsome, a good actor, and when I think of a tough guy with a compassionate side, this is the face I see. 

Thomas Gibson from 'Criminal Minds

Of course, I wouldn't kick THIS guy out of the role either.

Apparently she was in Paranormal Activity 4

Next we have his daughter, KAYLA MASON. Too bad Dakota Fanning is too old for the role. I had to think about this one. I googled "teen blonde actresses' and I got this...Her name is Kathryn Newton and she looks exactly how I imagine Kayla looks.

Now, how about her crush, PRIVATE BREWER?  This is Alex Pettyfer aka Number 4. He seemed pretty good in that movie. What I actually watched of it, I mean. He'd be great if we could bulk him up a bit. Which could happen. He'll be in Magic Mike 2.


JIM (Oh my God, did I even give him a last name?) has to be the toughest actor to choose by far. I can think of at least three actors who could fill the role. What do YOU think?

Sean Bean might be too handsome, but the caption up there actually happened at a bar in England.

Or maybe...


Michael Rooker was fantastic as Merle Dixon, and maybe I like him because Merle reminded me a lot of Jim. And because I'm a HUGE fan of 'The Walking Dead'.

But my very first choice is this actor: Don't know who Jackie Earle Haley is? He was the hottie way back when in 'The Bad News Bears'. He's the new Freddy Kruegar. He was Rorschach. Enough said.


And I saved the best for last. There's only ever been ONE actor that fits the role of THOEBA. I always thought she was stunning and talented, and the very first time I visualized THOEBA it was her.

     I'm curious to know what you people think. Any other ideas out there?

Oh, and if any of these fine actors see this after I tag their names in this blog and think they'd like to produce a great movie to be in, message me on Twitter or Facebook! I'm Donna Milward :D

Free Advertising, My Ass

Photo by: Karen Bursey, Edmonton, Alberta

     You know what is a really bad thing to say to a writer who has been pirated? "Think of the free advertising." What a stupid comment. I'm so angry I just lit a cigarette.
   
I've been told that if one person downloads it, and likes it, he might tell his friends, and THEY will buy it. And so on. You know what I think will happen? I think they'll download it for free, and then they'll tell their friends where to download free books. And so on.

When I worked as a meat manager, I constantly had to deal with shoplifters. We could never catch them all. It was a full time job. The more shoplifting that happened, the more thieves came in...we developed a reputation for being an easy target. What did these people do with our expensive steaks and roasts, the ones clearly tagged with the 'Champions Family Foods' logo? They sold them on the street. Should I call that 'free advertising?'

We GIVE e-books out. We spend hundreds of dollars on 'swag'. We do our own advertising and marketing, thank you. We don't need any help from people who distribute our work illegally.

You've read my rants about piracy before, but I've been pirated AGAIN. Over 460 copies of Thoeba went out without payment. This was after I saw this post from an author I know from Facebook. If you think I'm pissed, wait until you read this. *language warning* With her expressed permission, I give you Gracen Miller...

One pirate site…

Rockin' the Heart downloaded 1,325 times (and it just released the end of Jan 2014).
Taboo Kisses downloaded 2,219 times.
The Road to Hell series (that's ALL 3 books) downloaded 2175times.

For you selfish bastards who think this doesn't amount to much in cash, let me break it down for you.

Rockin' the Heart pirated downloads would've netted $3,312.50 in sales.
Taboo Kisses pirated downloads would've netted $5,547.50 in sales.
The Road to Hell series pirated downloads would've netted $3,632.25 in sales.
That's a GRAND TOTAL of LOST sales in the amount of $12,492.25!!!

FUCK YOU VERY MUCH YOU PIRATE THIEVES! Yes…every single one of you who downloaded a free ebook off of a pirate site—mobilism, torrent, etc. NOT Amazon, Nook, etc.—YOU ARE THIEVES!! Why don't you take a $12,492.25 pay cut…and that's just ONE pirate site. I'm so angry ATM. I'm honestly at that point where I'm about ready to say fuck it and quit writing. I didn't even make $600 off of the entire Road to Hell series in 2013, but the pirates happily stole $3Grand from me off one site for the series!

I'm livid for her, and all of us. There's been talk about putting a halt to giving out free ebooks for contests. It feels like we can't trust anyone. Some of us want to give up, myself included.  What's the point of spending all the time and money to promote our work if we get nothing out of it but grief and anguish? Would you?

Pirate Ho!

Image by: James Barker/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net

 I must be getting better known. Or maybe somebody considered 'Thoeba' worthy of this dubious honor. I've been pirated. Please don't tell me to feel flattered. I hate pirates and everything they stand for.

It's on a site that allows people to download HUNDREDS of books for free. And no, I'm not giving out the link. One never knows who they can trust these days.

I know a writer who recently held a contest to give away ARCs (Advance Reader Copies) on her Facebook page. I won one of them.  Before I even had a chance to find mine in my e-mail, she discovered her novel on a pirate site. It isn't even officially published yet! Now she knows that someone she gifted with a free copy of her book betrayed her kindness and generosity...

What pisses me off the most  about my situation is that 'Thoeba' is only 99 cents! Really? Are people that cheap that they aren't willing to fork out a dollar to support a writer and her independent publisher? Do they know who they're stealing from?

They are stealing from Staccato Publishing. It is a small independent publishing company owned by Heather Savage. She spends a huge amount of time and money to promote and distribute her writers. She's got a skeleton staff to help with marketing, editing, and other things like book covers. No one there can afford to do it full time. They all have other jobs, and nobody is getting rich.

And they're stealing from me. I love writing. And I'd like to make enough money doing it so my husband can quit the job that makes him miserable and maybe go to school to do something he'd love.

I believe only myself or Staccato should have the right to give out free copies for promotion. And NO ONE ELSE should profit from all our hard work.

Because you know what? When the pirates take from an author, that author wonders why they're working so hard. Why they put so many hours into their passion only to have someone else use them. And when those writers stop publishing, and the small time publishers disappear, you can all go back to buying the pricier books from bigger publishers. They can afford better lawyers.