Why the Review?

Last week one of my fellow author's on Facebook asked. "Is it rude to ask a reader for a review?"  He'd sent a contest winner a FREE  digital copy of his latest, and added "If you could leave a review, it would mean the world to me." Or something generic like that.

The response was an emphatic 'NO'. It isn't rude, not in our opinion. Every author does that. We all ask. We can tell you our novels are great, but doesn't it sound a lot less biased coming from someone else?

This author received a rather terse and detailed email telling him that if she'd known that he EXPECTED a review, she wouldn't have accepted the prize. That she was an English Major and she was FAR too busy to write a review for a book she might not have the time to read, and didn't even remember winning. She couldn't believe he'd had the audacity to ask!

How do I know? Unfortunately, he posted it. Let us all see the obnoxiousness that this woman poured forth.  Equally unfortunate? He posted his response. This included a snarling apology and reasons why he sent the prize late (death in the family) and how he didn't feel he was being rude or demanding of her time. He intimated that he too had schedule demands.

This is why you don't respond to haters. She wrote BACK, basically telling him her academics and life (Did she mention she was an English Major?) were more important than his petty needs, and it was not lost on any of us how much time and effort she'd taken to blast him. Even though she's VERY busy. He wisely decided to let it go. He has books to write.

Why do we ask our readers to write for reviews? It's a suggestion. We're hoping you'll do it, but we won't lose sleep if you don't. We are not asking you to write a thesis. We ask because it's the cheapest, easiest way for us to get exposure. If you liked it, a star rating and a couple of sentences are all that's needed. If you hated it, please feel free to do the same. Most of us, (Not all, but that's another blog) won't bite.  Hell, a handful of stars will do the trick if you're in a hurry.

I repeat:It's just a suggestion! No need to slam us, especially if you might end of working alongside us. By the way, he gave us her name too. I'm not sure if that's fair or vindictive, but I'm guilty of being glad he did it. I don't want to work with someone like that. Writers DO have feelings, you know.

I am a Fearless Armadillo.

Now you know why writers drink.

When I set out to become a novelist, I honestly had no idea what I was getting into. I figured I would write the books...That's it. I would write the books, and someone else would handle the cover, editors, marketing and money. I would just happily write books.

BWA-HAHAHAHAHA! (Wipes a tear away.)

Just the task of marketing alone must be a testament to the determination of writers everywhere. You know just how serious you are about making it in this business if you are willing to struggle in the futility of finding readers for your hard work.

No, writing is not for the casual dabbler. First you have to write the book. Then you either find an agent and/or a publisher. That requires hours of writing emails for people who often ignore you or frequently reject you. Writers also need the skin of an armadillo. BE the armadillo!

Once you've done that, someone (the editor) will pick apart your work, but it's for your own good, and the good of your work. Be the Armadillo.

Then comes interviews, blogs and reviews, which can be fun...until someone doesn't like you or your work. DON'T piss off a blogger. I had one blogger 'friend' me on Facebook, and send the post she was going to publish. I POLITELY corrected her spelling of 'Thoeba', it's a common mistake for an invented name, and she blasted me, saying it was MY fault she misspelled it because she'd only copied and pasted everything. She went on a Facebook rant about 'disrespectful authors'. She didn't name me, but told all her friends to 'PM' her for details. Ouch. I am an armadillo.

Now I'm finding myself in a place where I've got the goods, but nowhere to put them. I've been looking at self-publishing. I'm a sweating armadillo. Now I have to learn how to format properly and meander around things like 'Createspace'. (Insert panicked laughter here.) I'm barely tech savvy enough to write my own blogs. I've done enough research to know that I will need an expensive editor. My grammar isn't up to snuff, and I doubt my knowledge of legalities is either. Time to toughen up, and open my wallet. Time to learn things and try something I never wanted to do. Sometimes you have to do things BECAUSE you are afraid of them.

I am an armadillo, and I really wish I could curl into a tight little ball right now.

Tiny ferocious Dragon Ball, that's me. RAWR!

Wish me luck.

Thor Thpots.

This isn't Thor. I got this off the internet. Thor is smaller and thinner.

When did I become such a sap? Yes, this is a cat blog, but no, it's not about Spartacus Jones or Freya. It's about an orange cat with orange eyes I've named 'Thor'.

The first time I saw him, he was sitting in our driveway with Spartacus and our neighbor's cat 'Charlie'. He was skinny, skittish and didn't have a collar, so naturally, I had to try to befriend him.

Cats without collars stress me out. All I can think about is...Are you abandoned? Do you have a safe place? Are you hungry?

We've been feeding him. He lets us touch him, and Spartacus will actually watch him wolf down food without getting territorial or jealous. In fact, Thor follows Spartacus right into the yard. I think Spartacus wants a little brother. He never gets nasty with Thor.

Thor is polite, even though his table manners are atrocious. He scarfs down his food, rubs around my husband and I, chirps a little thank you and runs away. He's made it as close as the porch, but won't come in.

I worry. I hurt for the little beast, but my husband is far more stoic. Thor seems more like an actual stray than an abandoned cat. He's thin, skittish and clearly not fixed. (Is it normal for cats to have testicles the size of peach pits?) He's a little warrior.

Dan reminds me that this is his normal life, being outdoors foraging or scavenging food. He doesn't know he's missing anything. The weather is nice, and Thor doesn't seem to be suffering. He isn't cold, and he probably has a good hiding place during the day. We always have water out. Nights have been nice.

I've been reminding myself I have time to gain his trust. Summers are short in my province, but I have at least three months before the weather gets ugly. Maybe by then, he'll be ready. Maybe not. In the meantime, I'll just keep leaving a dish of wet food on my porch. I'll keep looking for that empty dish in the morning. I'll keep searching for a little patch of orange.

A Sunday at the Words in 3D Conference

How was the conference, you're wondering? Too short! Due to work obligations, I could only attend the Sunday, and I really wish I could have attended more.

Breakfast was simple. Muffins and coffee. I got a swag bag that included a program, two issues of 'avenue' magazine, an issue of 'Glass Buffalo', some useful booklets on independent publishing, literary catalogs and Professional Editing Standards. Plus a couple stationary treats that every writer loves to get. You can never have enough paper or notebooks!

I went to a seminar about success after publishing. This was an informative talk with a panel that included, an author, the owner of legendary Edmonton book store 'Audrey's', a publicist and a librarian.  The message is clear...use social media to the best of your advantage and BE POLITE!! Because writers tend to get aggressive while trying to sell books, Laugh. Out. Loud.

Keynote speaker was Cory Beatty from Harpercollins Canada. He gave us stats and told us stories, both to remind us to work hard and we'll get there eventually...But it won't be easy.

Lunch was my favorite part for two reasons that didn't involve the food. Not that it wasn't good...it was simple, tasty fare of soup, sandwiches, fruit and cookies.

Reason number one is the gentleman who sat next to me and introduced himself as Douglas Gibson. I'm embarrassed now, because I had no idea he's a MAJOR celebrity in the Canadian literary world. As in, "No one else has done more for Canadian Literature than Douglas Gibson." kind of famous. I just thought he was a nice older gentleman with funny stories about speeding tickets.

Reason number two is Penney Kome. Such a cool, knowledgeable woman! We used massive words, and appreciated the fact that we understood what each other was saying. (If you're ever in the company of writer's having a conversation, listen to their idiolect. We all utilize an advanced vocabulary when speaking to each other.) We talked about politics and feminism. She's a former reporter and has written seven non-fiction books about suffrage, feminism, and politics. I wish I could have HER as a mentor, even if we don't actually write the same things. We seem to have a lot of the same ideals. I haven't read anything of hers yet, but I think I'm a fan! http://www.amazon.com/Penney-Kome/e/B001HPPROQ

Unfortunately, and this is my fault, I wasn't able to pitch or speak to designated mentors after lunch. I didn't put my requests in quickly enough. I'm an idiot, because I thought 'Pitch Camp' would be a room full of writers and someone up front teaching us how to sell our work to agents. Wrong!

It's a bit of a bummer, as I stayed up late choosing and printing out samples for them to read. Again, I should have moved faster. Now I have an envelope of excerpts and no one to read them. Lesson learned.

New News

Okay, so I have some news, good news and bad news.

THE BAD NEWS: I let a good friend beta read 'Chasing Monsters' and while she loved it, sad to see it end, and couldn't put it down...she has made me a list of TYPOS she found!! TYPOS?! Bummer. I guess 'Chasing Monsters' isn't ready yet after all. I can't send an MS with typos in it to an agent. Funny thing is I sent an inquiry to an agent already, and I forgot one letter in the e-mail address and it bounced back. I was disappointed, but figured I could probably add a few things to my letter, and considered it a good thing. Looks like it really WAS!

Image by"meepoohfoto/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

NEW NEWS: Edmonton is hosting a writer's conference called 'Words in 3D', and I get to go on Sunday. I barely made the deadline to register, but I had to make sure I wasn't working. As it is, I won't be able to attend on Friday and Saturday, but I'm really looking forward to it. I never want to miss an opportunity to hone my craft. Plus it includes 'Pitch Camp'.

THE GOOD NEWS: I'm ever writing whenever I can, and I finished the first novella in what I hope is a series involving humans, reincarnation, and gods. The first installment takes place in ancient Egypt. This is a huge undertaking for me, but I intend to work on it as often as I can. My friend Nicole, who was my best friend in highschool, and adores all things Egyptian gets first crack at it after a round or two of edits.

Bast makes an appearance in the novella

Hopefully, I'll be able to tell you more about the conference next week. Until then...The first photo is a bit of a tease about 'Chasing Monsters'.

My First Fan

These aren't Kevin's, but he does have three of them.

So last week I wrote my first blog in weeks. Mostly just to announce that "I'm still here." I got a WHOLE LOTTA support through here, Facebook and Twitter. Thank you!!

That night, I did it. I finished the synopsis for Chasing Monsters. I also did some writing. I think I just needed a little boost, you know? Now I feel like I can move on. Get an agent maybe. New publisher. I have all you guys to thank for it.

Particularly Kevin. I would like to take this time to thank him. He was my first REAL fan. As in, the first person to openly appreciate my work who wasn't related to me, or a long-standing friend of mine. Of course, he's become a dear friend over the years :)

I met him on Farmville when I was still a meatcutter. One day he messaged me and asked my advice on what cut of beef I would recommend for Beef Stroganoff. I was happy to chat about whether he would want to use tenderloin, top sirloin or inside round and why.

This stuff...Beef Stroganoff. Yum!

When I started writing seriously, and Thoeba had been published, he messaged me again, because he loves to read. It escalated from there.

I appreciate Kevin's friendship for more than just writing. He's smart, interesting and kind. He loves cats every bit as much as I do. (He has three.) When I lost Sully, he was there for me. He even wrote a sweet eulogy for Sully's memorial. Even though he never met the cat, he did a beautiful job. He obviously knew Sully's heart.

My favorite pic of Sully and my husband.

He's always encouraging me. It's like he has a kind of radar that tells him when I need a little pep talk for my work. He actually READS this blog. All the time! And he misses it when I don't do it. No really, he does.

Oh, and for the record? The Kevin in Aphrodite's War is NOT based on him! Not even close. That Kevin was inspired by an argumentive creep I once worked with, and a scary guy I met in Chilliwack, BC that sat next to me and carried on an imagined conversation between us when he couldn't get  my attention. I actually caught him imitating me. They were both named Kevin and my character looks like the BC weirdo.

Someday, I'd LOVE to immortalize MY friend Kevin in a book, and maybe give him a a dedication. And I'd like to meet him in person some day. Here's to you, Kevin! Whenever I feel like I'm a terrible writer, or if I just feel a little blue, I'm glad I have your friendship. You always make me smile :)

P.s.--There are no pics of Kevin or his cats because I'm protecting his privacy. I didn't tell him I was writing this ;)

I'm Still Here

Yeah, it's been a couple of weeks, I'm sorry.It's not that work is hard. It isn't, but it is. I love my jobs. My work is fun, actually, but my feet JUST stopped torturing me. I can now stand for hours without feeling as though I'm walking on razor blades. Last Saturday was a 9 1/2 hour shift, and I made it just fine. Must have been adrenaline. But usually, by the time I finish work, I don't feel like doing much. I've probably written only about 900 words in the last two weeks. Sigh...

But yesterday I received a royalty check from Staccato. It's the biggest one I have ever been paid as a writer. Please don't ask how much. I had a friend guess, and he said, "I don't know...a grand?" I almost choked on my cider. No, uh...much, MUCH smaller.

Bummer that my friends think I actually make money at writing, but it did inspire me. It gave me a kick in the ass. I HAVE to get moving! I HAVE to get that synopsis down to two pages and look for an agent. I need to write more. Something. ANYTHING.

Did you know that only 2% of novelists become financially successful? Did you know that most of us give up after awhile? I don't want to be one of those who surrender to the reality that I probably won't make it.

I will still write. I will still publish. It's just going to take me longer than I anticipated. I hope you stay with me, because I intend to stick around.