Thursday, January 27, 2011

Sofa so good-but it gets bed-der

     Until I came to this planet and experienced your weather I had no idea why your kind would want to live indoors. Now I understand. Then I couldn’t understand why your kind would want to put things to bump into inside these shelters, other than aesthetic value.
     I’ve learned the reasons for a table and chairs. It’s so that you can eat with plates, cups and utensils. Apparently eating peanut butter with your hands is impolite.
     I’ve learned that couches are things you recline on while watching cartoons and other such television things.
     But it’s my bed I’ve fallen in love with! Eden has no such things as fluffy pillows. Its temperate climate required no soothing comforters. Never mind the squishy, melty, marshmallow mattresses! Yes, I understand the reason for furniture. Now I need to invent more reasons to stay in bed!

Thursday, January 20, 2011

Time to watch where I'm going

     Some one gave me a time piece for Christmas. I asked, "What is it?" They said. "It's a watch." I said, "What does it watch?"
     From what I understand, this device will help me 'be on time'.  By your standards perhaps.
     Time is a human invention my kind never truly understood. When we needed to make plans with each other, we simply called out telepathically and met with one another. But then again, you humans have days and nights. And years. How can I tell time when I've always been and time never has for me?
     I suspect this is why your kind is always in such a rush. And why you need cell phones. You can rush around trying to be on time, and call each other to explain why you will be late anyway.

     And what's with all the ticking? Will it blow up if you are not 'on time'? Ooh, and the alarms!My goodness! You people are deliberately alarming yourselves? Strange humans. No wonder you blow up at each other all the time.

photo by: Salvatore Vuono

Thursday, January 13, 2011

Winter is s'no fun

    Once, in the middle of a summer storm, the Energy and I talked about the weather in Alberta. It asked me if perhaps It may have over done it. Well, my favorite deity...YOU OVER DID IT!!

     And it's not just Alberta. It's everywhere! Apparently these fluffy drifts of freezing precipitation having been piling everywhere including Canada, the East Coast of the United States and Europe since Christmas and for what?

A little bit is pretty, but this has reached unreasonable proportions. I guess the Energy has never heard the human term 'less is more'. Oh and by the way, snow shoveling sucks.

I don't know about the rest of you, but I'm starting to wonder. Is God hiding something under all this frozen meringue, or does It just like skiers?  Now that I think about it, maybe this world looks tastier with snow.

Thursday, January 6, 2011

I Love New Beginnings!

     Oooh! A shiny brand new year. So many possibilities, so many new things to do and see and eat.
     We didn't have New Year's celebrations in Eden. When one is several hundred years old, one tends not to get excited when the calender turns over. Come to think of it, we don't have calenders either.
     So I hereby make my first resolutions. Ahem...

I Thoeba, resolve to explore human cultures and practices. I will embrace your holidays with enthusiasm. I resolve to try every food known to mankind. And I promise to experiment with beer and other alcohols. And yes, I resolve to continuously torture myself in the name of exercise to avoid growing to gargantuan proportions.
     Wait...What's that? Ukranian Christmas? Are those perogies?

photo by:jscreationzs