No, not mine-but someone very close to me has it. And in case you haven't noticed I don't feel like writing much as a result. It's been three weeks since my last post. I just didn't feel like sharing with anyone.
I admit, I haven't been the greatest friend in regards to my loved one's illness. In the last year I have sighed, rolled my eyes and resisted the constant urge to tell him to 'snap out of it'. (That comment usually gets me 'snapped at'. If it were that easy, don't you think they'd do it?)
As time rolls on, I've watched him get progressively worse. My funny, sweet, gentle friend has become withdrawn, sullen and quick to rage. Now he's Mr. Hyde. It's hard to watch.
So difficult, in fact, that one day I was the one to shut down. I woke up feeling hopeless and sad. I couldn't do anything. I just lay on my couch and cried. It went like that for two days. No matter how I tried to get up and get on with it, it wasn't happening. Karma's a bitch but I'm glad for the experience. I gained a lot more empathy. If this is what he feels everyday, I see how hellish it must be.
It's not over. It's still pretty rough. I'm trying to be supportive, because this is not something a person can 'just get over'. It's an illness, and I know that now. This isn't a case of whining or a need for attention. He needs my support, not my exasperation.
He's getting the help he needs, and I'm going to walk beside him while he does it. Wish us luck. We're going to need it.