The Writer's Constant Companion...Doubt.

I just found my very first one star review for Aphrodite's War. I wasn't hurt or angry. Not at first. I was godsmacked and shocked. The reviewer hated it. Loathed it. Would give it zero stars if she could. She made it twenty percent in before giving up on it.

She was rather vague, but I figured out a few reasons why she didn't like it. She didn't like the multiple POVs, I'm guessing, and didn't like my voice. I also guessing the sex scene between Ares and Strife turned her off. She also found a glaring mistake in the way I portrayed the relationship between Aphrodite and Hermes--definitely my fault.

The part that hurt was how she said it seemed like a bad knock off of a series she'd already read. She didn't say which author or series, so I've got no idea who she's talking about. It bothers me because I try to write original material, and HATE the idea that I may have copied someone else. I wouldn't have written the book if I'd known. Why would I regurgitate something that's already been done?

Now I'm working on a novella based in the time of the Funnelbeakers. I'm six chapters in, and I realize that despite my research, I know very little about them. I went to write about a feast, and discovered I don't know what they eat. I googled it, but I'm shaken with the idea that I might be wrong, and my novella will be filled with holes and inaccuracies. I tell myself I'm not writing a historical document, that my readers are more interested in the story, but shouldn't I be as authentic as possible?

I wasn't going to blog about this incident at all, but it's giving me Writer's Block. I'm afraid to write.

My friend Kathy pointed out that this is a rite of passage for a writer, and she's right. EVERYONE gets bad reviews, no one is that good that everyone loves them. My friend Delvina told me this one star is validating. One can't have only four and five star reviews all the time, because they look 'planted'. She's right. I think I'd be suspicious too if every single review I saw for a book ranted about how great it was. This blogger probably did me a little favor with her blunt honesty. Actually, I appreciate her honesty. Strangely glad she didn't fake anything, even if it stings.

So I'm venting here, on my blog. Now that I have it off my chest, I'm going to write that feast scene. I'm going to describe the fire-roasted deer, pig and mallard. I'm going to comment on the rich bowls of barley and carrot and the charred crabapples and hazelnuts. They're going to drink copious amounts of beer from clay bowls made by Agneta. I WILL keep writing. After all, this is just the first draft. I can always fix it later.

I am Writer, Dread my Post!

I'm sitting outside, having a smoke break when I am joined by a young friend who works at the restaurant next door to mine. We usually talk shop, his upcoming wedding and Pinterest. He tells me, after eight years, he's leaving his job. Eeeek! "I'll miss you!" I tell him. "I'll miss you too!" he says back. We decide we should stay in touch and exchange cell phone numbers (And first names, I might add. I chatted with this guy for four months and we never knew each other's names.) and I tell him I'll give him one of my bookmarks. I can tell he doesn't know what that actually means.

Later that day, I send him a text to confirm we have the right numbers. I tell him I got sent home early, but it's okay because I've got edits to do. He says "Bummer. Edits arn't fun." And I wonder if he's trying to be funny.

Today I give him a bookmark and tell him the picture is the cover of my second novel, Aphrodite's War. He asks what it's about. I give him a short run down....failing to tell him it's a love story and that I write paranormal romance, but it doesn't matter because he responds with a deadpan-- "Cool...Didn't know that about you." As if it anything BUT. I think I muttered something about marketing being a bitch and having trouble self-promoting.

That's the trouble with being a writer. I'll bet my friend is thinking, "Oh God, ANOTHER one?" Writer is the new 'rock star'. Everyone wants to be a writer.

That's why it's so hard to make a living at it. I'm just one in a couple million, It doesn't matter how hard I work, there are millions of people just like me. We all want to tell a story. And self-publishing has made it that much easier.

I think this is funny. It's happened that people tell me I should write THEIR story. One guy insisted he was so interesting, I'd make a lot more money writing his family history than I could ever make writing fiction of ANY kind.

It's weird to be on the other side, where being a writer might make people find me tedious. I don't think I've ever experienced that before. Interesting. Good thing I'm an armadillo.

A Few Minutes with Kathy Steinemann

Today I want to introduce you to Kathy Steinemann, the author behind the anthology Suppose, and a good friend. I’ve got a soft spot for her for getting me involved with the Suppose project, and for her wealth of expertise in all things writing and publishing. Welcome Kathy!

Hi, Donna. Thanks for inviting me to your blog.

You are a master at drabbles and flash fiction. Please explain what those are, and how you came to write them.

A master? Aw, shucks. Thanks for the vote of confidence.

A drabble is exactly 100 words long, and flash is usually a piece of 1000 words or less, although some definitions will stretch that to 2000 words.

I started to create shorter pieces when I joined a writers’ critique and networking site, Scribophile.

When did you first start writing?

I can recall scribbling stories before grade one. I won’t tell you how many years ago that was, but I will say that I remember the debut of the Beatles on The Ed Sullivan Show. I won a few prose and public-speaking contests while I was still in school, I wrote for the high school newspaper, and submitted a school news column to the local weekly.

My love of writing continued through the years. One of my jobs was editor of a small-town weekly, but life presented other career choices until 2009, when I gravitated back toward my first love.

You are self-published. Have you always been so? How did you get your start?

I considered the traditional route, but after investigating the alternatives, opted for self-publishing.

The self-pub learning process required countless hours on the Internet as I researched resources and interacted with other authors. During my journey, I had several pieces accepted by literary journals and a few anthology publishers. I won four flash fiction contests, and placed in several others

Who are your literary heroes? Muses?

My literary heroes? Probably Ray Bradbury and Pearl S. Buck. And I’d have to call Rod Serling my muse. That’s an eclectic excursion from sci-fi to historical fiction to fantasy and horror.

Tell us about a book that had an impact on your life.

Besides the Bible, probably the Black Stallion series. I read several of Walter Farley’s novels when I was a child, choosing reading over chores. The books inspired me to become an avid reader.

Tell us about one that had an impact on your writing.

That’s a difficult question. An author who had an impact is Fredric Brown, a master of short stories with surprise endings. However, I like to experiment with a variety of voices and formats. I’ve often thought that I should invent different pen names for some of my projects.

Maybe I already have.

What is your favorite format to write? Do you prefer drabbles, flash fiction, short stories, or novels?

Drabbles are difficult, and are probably my least favorite. As Mark Twain said, "I didn’t have time to write a short letter, so I wrote a long one instead." When you only have a hundred words to tell a story, each one must count.

Novels, especially series, require attention to dates and details so you don’t make mistakes with your plot.

In the middle are flash fiction and short stories, my favorites. I like to tell a complete story, usually with a surprise ending, that only takes a few minutes to read.

What do you like to read?

Tales that engage me, that make me reluctant to put the book down. Novels like Aphrodite’s War, Thoeba, and the Dune series. [Kathy chuckles.] (Aw, shucks. I'm blushing. Way to plug my stuff in YOUR interview!)

Do you have any rituals to write with? Favorite drinks, snacks, or music? What gets you in the zone?

I like coffee nearby, but never snacks. It’s difficult to type with crumbs on your fingers. I find music distracting, preferring the company of a low-volume news channel on the TV. I don’t need anything to get me in the zone, but I break every twenty minutes or so. Sometimes if I’m bogged down, a three-minute walk will give me fresh ideas.

The house is littered with sticky notes; I have a notepad in my purse; my cell phone contains memos; and my hard drive holds dozens of in-progress pieces. Sometimes all it takes is a casual comment from my husband or a friend to inspire me.

What do you love about writing?

I enjoy sharing the ideas in my head. I can work in my pajamas if I want to. There’s no boss looking over my shoulder and cringing when s/he sees my weird Google searches. Those searches are a constant fount of new knowledge and frequent chuckles.

Self-publishing allows me to work without deadlines, and I can experiment with style.

What do you hate?

Rejections. And I say that again: rejections. Having an editor say no to something I’ve slaved over is always a disappointment.

I also hate trapping myself in a corner, but I’m a pantser who dislikes outlines. That corner trap usually develops into a plot twist, although the solution might occur to me days or weeks after I’ve put a piece away to ripen.

I miss coffee breaks and discussions with coworkers.

I could do without the business end: promoting, finding reviewers, accounting, and the myriad mundane but necessary tasks that tear me away from writing.

If you could offer any advice to new authors, what would it be?

Believe in yourself. Don’t give up.

Cultivate your unique voice, realizing that you can’t follow every bit of advice you hear or read.

WRITE. Every minute you spend writing will open new vistas. It’s a craft that demands practice and dedication.

Where can readers find you?

The best place to find me is at my website, KathySteinemann.com.

I’m also on Facebook: KathySteinemann.Author.

And Twitter: @KathySteinemann.

Can we have a list of your published works?

I have several available, ranging from travel tips to German-English dual-translation collections to IBS tips, as well as two novels in the Sapphire Brigade series, and Suppose. I keep an updated list on my website.

Are you able to share anything about what you’re working on now?

In September, I plan to release Nag Nag Nag, a humor anthology about a married couple who bicker and snipe, but love each other beyond words. They spar, spat, and love their way through pre- and post-retirement, with guest appearances by their daughter and granddaughters.

Late in 2015 or early 2016, I’ll be releasing Envision, a collection of science fiction stories by me and guest authors who are competing in a contest I’m sponsoring at Scribophile. I also have a children’s book, Galoomph, ready for the illustration phase.

Next year I plan to publish Zarminixia, another sci-fi anthology.

Any final comments?

Thanks for the interview opportunity, Donna, and good luck with Chasing Monsters and Elaina’s Fate!

Thank YOU, Kathy!!

A Cure for Insomnia

Image by: Exsodus@FreeDigitalPhotos.net

So tired. So wired. Need a Deep Sleep.

My husband is snoring. My bed is too hot and too hard. I steal my favorite pillow and slip to the basement.

I lay down in the guest futon, and bury myself in the fluffy comforter. Bliss. It's dark, cool, and quiet. The old futon, the one I've had since I was single and just moved to Edmonton envelops me in it's old familiar, squishy way, bowed in the middle to cradle me.

Deep Sleep, I tell myself. Deep. Sleep. 

I feel my face relax. My mask, the one of worry and consternation I wear so much these days falls away. It isn't until then I realize how tense I am. Feet are still buzzing from the day, but their burden is finished for the night. Aching shoulders unwind. I still feel the twinges, but remind myself to let them settle. I have worked my body hard, and it deserves rest. I deserve rest. I deserve Deep Sleep.  I shift, just a little uncomfortable for a moment, and something in my spine pops like a tiny, satisfying firework only I can hear, and I sigh.

I am now in carefully cultivated, floating relaxation.

Thoughts of work drift through my mind. Tomorrow's prep cooking. Coleslaw, mashed potatos...We will have to make Beef and Mushroom Pot Pie, an all day affair. But I let it all slip away. I'm not at work. I'm sleeping. It will be okay. We will get through the day fine. I am able to dismiss my anxieties, let them fade.

My stories dance, and I let them. They will be fuller and richer when I wake. I have learned to trust my vivid, dreaming brain.

Deep Sleep, I gently chide myself. I'm wearing the mask again, and as odd as it sounds, I concentrate on letting go again. One does not notice how much one crinkles her face until she must work to ease it away.

Spartacus Jones comes to press his nose to my head and purr. My mouth drops open, but I don't care. I have successfully dropped the mask, and my comfort is complete.

I'm laying perfectly still, thinking of my father, and the best advice he ever gave me. Just be quiet. Don't get up for a cigarette. Don't get up to watch TV, or clean the house because you can't sleep. Your body needs to be quiet. Even if your mind can't stop, your body has to, and you'll feel better in the morning if you didn't leave your bed. 

Eventually I learned to let go, to be at peace with the silence. To suggest to myself the Deep Sleep. To believe myself . To believe in the Deep Sleep.

Deep Sleep. Deep Sleep. Deep Sleep. Say it to yourself until it comes true. Best of luck.

Yelling From Mountain Tops.

Image by: winnond@FreeDigitalPhotos.net

I am NOT having fun. I've finally sent my novella off to beta readers, and have had reasonable success formatting Chasing Monsters in order to send off to agents and publishers. Time to get on it. The first agent query went out  on the 24th.

So I decided to page through the agent and publisher section of my copy of the 2015 Writer's Market with a highlighter. I'm almost sorry I did. Talk about overwhelming and discouraging! Page upon page of people and organizations with specific requirements and discriminating tastes. Even the avant garde looks daunting. There are several pages without the telltale neon yellow of possibility.

This one only wants Canadian content. This one, only wholesome Christian content. This one only Imprints, whatever that means. No unsolicited manuscripts. No fiction. No romance. Did you know there is a publisher that deals exclusively in vampires? They don't care about the word count or genre, just as long as it has vampires. No vampires, no publishing contract.

I got such a weird feeling. I had a visual of my cartoon self climbing a mountain. (Just a smallish one. No Kilimenjaro or anything.) I stood on the top, listening to loud murmuring from the ground. I yell, "HEY!! I WRITE PARANORMAL ROMANCE NOVELS!!" The noise lessens as groups of people leave. "I WRITE ANGELS, DEMONS AND GODS. PLUS REINCARNATION." It gets a little quieter. "I WRITE GRAPHIC SEX SCENES." By now, I can barely hear the voices from the Earth. "I'VE PUBLISHED TWO NOVELS, BUT I DON'T HAVE MUCH OF A PLATFORM." I'm greeted with silence.  No one out there is listening to me anymore. And I'm worried.

Now I understand the allure of self-publishing. I used to think, "Why would anyone want the hassle?" Now I know. The world of literary agents and publishing houses is an unwelcoming place.

But it isn't a reason to give up. I'm an optimist after all. I'm also an armadillo, and I will persevere.

Thorry You Didn't Stay

A writer never lets her readers dangle. One must tie knots in the ends of her threads, so here is the final Thor Report.

For those of you who don't know, Thor was the little orange stray we were trying to coax into our family. We were so close...I even have pictures to share. But we haven't seen the little cat with the big balls for weeks now. I guess it wasn't meant to be.

The last time we saw Thor, we fed him, and he let both myself and my husband hold him. He meowed a lot over it, but his body seemed relaxed. He stuck around for about fifteen, twenty minutes before trotting to the gate. He perched atop it, looking back at us. He looked reluctant. Like he was trying to decide if he really wanted to go.

A few nights later, I dreamed I was holding him. He had a collar and tag very much like the ones we have for Spartacus Jones and Freya. I tried to read the tag, wondering if I would find our address and number on the tag or someone else's, but he wouldn't let me read it. He kept squirming, and I woke up.

After a few days, and much thought, we stopped leaving food out. We hadn't seen him at all, but the neighbor's cat started coming into the yard, and we suspect she'd been eating the food. I think Joyce, her owner, probably wouldn't appreciate us getting her tubby cat even tubbier.

So I guess Thor wasn't meant to be ours. I'd like to think he's safe in someone else's house. That we weren't meant to have him, but we were supposed to help keep him alive so he could find his furever home.

Further thought makes me question whether we should get a third cat after all. Freya is the Greta Garbo of cats, clearly wishing to be left alone. Spartacus Jones might want a sibling, but perhaps he wouldn't like sharing his Mommy with another cat. He's jealous of attention I give to Freya.

I guess we will remain a two-cat household, and maybe that's for the best. I'd like to think that if another cat comes into our lives, I will know when it's right. We'll see. Goodbye, little Thor. It was nice knowing you <3 If things don't work out...You know you have someplace to go.

Why the Review?

Last week one of my fellow author's on Facebook asked. "Is it rude to ask a reader for a review?"  He'd sent a contest winner a FREE  digital copy of his latest, and added "If you could leave a review, it would mean the world to me." Or something generic like that.

The response was an emphatic 'NO'. It isn't rude, not in our opinion. Every author does that. We all ask. We can tell you our novels are great, but doesn't it sound a lot less biased coming from someone else?

This author received a rather terse and detailed email telling him that if she'd known that he EXPECTED a review, she wouldn't have accepted the prize. That she was an English Major and she was FAR too busy to write a review for a book she might not have the time to read, and didn't even remember winning. She couldn't believe he'd had the audacity to ask!

How do I know? Unfortunately, he posted it. Let us all see the obnoxiousness that this woman poured forth.  Equally unfortunate? He posted his response. This included a snarling apology and reasons why he sent the prize late (death in the family) and how he didn't feel he was being rude or demanding of her time. He intimated that he too had schedule demands.

This is why you don't respond to haters. She wrote BACK, basically telling him her academics and life (Did she mention she was an English Major?) were more important than his petty needs, and it was not lost on any of us how much time and effort she'd taken to blast him. Even though she's VERY busy. He wisely decided to let it go. He has books to write.

Why do we ask our readers to write for reviews? It's a suggestion. We're hoping you'll do it, but we won't lose sleep if you don't. We are not asking you to write a thesis. We ask because it's the cheapest, easiest way for us to get exposure. If you liked it, a star rating and a couple of sentences are all that's needed. If you hated it, please feel free to do the same. Most of us, (Not all, but that's another blog) won't bite.  Hell, a handful of stars will do the trick if you're in a hurry.

I repeat:It's just a suggestion! No need to slam us, especially if you might end of working alongside us. By the way, he gave us her name too. I'm not sure if that's fair or vindictive, but I'm guilty of being glad he did it. I don't want to work with someone like that. Writers DO have feelings, you know.