Thursday, October 21, 2010
Plane, car and boat blues
I have journeyed on water, land and in the air in my short stay on your planet, and it is clear you people don't understand the concept of 'smooth travel'. Oh, how I miss my wings...
Last week someone suggested I trying fishing...on a boat. This involves spine-jarring wave jumping at speeds that drill bugs into your pores. THEN you perch precariously for hours on the fragile surface of a substance you can't breathe in should you fall into it. Oh yes, that sounds most amusing.
Then there's driving. Did I mention traffic? Hundreds of you roaring back and forth past each other like jousting knights, oblivious to how close you are to cracking into each other. (I find it very useful to inform the person driving of this fact. It makes them more careful-you can tell by the gritting of their teeth that they're taking my advice seriously.)
Flying is somewhat better, but certainly flexible feathered wings work better in turbulence. More control. How come you don't make airplanes with flapping wings anyway? That reminds me...What are the little brown bags for?
You know what would be even better? I don't suppose you people could LEARN to evolve, could you? Grow wings of your own?