Forty-One.

I had a birthday on Tuesday. My forty-first, and strangely enough, I don't have a problem admitting to it.

When I turned twenty-one, I drank my face off until the early hours and had a great time doing it. But I remember the sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach...the one that told me the best years of my life were over. The party was about to stop and the pressures of reality and growing older were about to descend upon me. Funny thing is, I worked two jobs most of the time already, and I'd been worrying over money and my life's direction for years.

When I turned thirty, I cried for two thirds of the day. My youth was gone forever, and all I'd done with it was WORK. I never traveled or did anything cool because I was always busying working to create a better life for myself and my beloved troll.

Last year I turned forty without any tears. In fact, I had a great milestone with my husband and a handful of good friends. I had only a few years previously married my troll and got my first novel published that year. We had no credit card debt...only a mortgage. I was pretty pleased with how things were going.

This year, instead of fretting over my lost youth and opportunities, I'm making plans to reclaim both. Not that I'm not satisfied with what I've got. On the contrary...I have the time, knowledge and enough money to live life as I like it. And I may look older, but I've got character. I'm counting my many blessings.

If I could go back in time and talk to a much younger me, I would tell her:

All the hard work you do will amount to something. You are a good person with strong core values that will guide you to your dreams and you will find a way to makes them come true. You will learn to roll with the punches, and solve the problems that overwhelm you now. Better yet, you'll learn how to avoid them. People really DO love you. You will find self-worth, and discover you have endless love to give. You will grow and change and find happiness.Stay the course, because you actually know what you're doing.

Yep, being forty-one is fine. I can't wait to see what adventures await! What will life be like at fifty?