I'm A-Frey'd I Don't Get It...

This is my writer's new cat, Freya. She got this feline from the Edmonton Humane Society, and named her for a Norse goddess.

At first I couldn't understand why. Sure, (She's absolutely precious) but why do humans insist on sheltering and feeding such small animals? They have no intentions of eating them, so why bother?

(Snuggliness and adorability aside,) They are not raised for consumption like livestock and they cannot take care of YOU when you are old. Nor can they help with family businesses, or out in the fields, grant wishes and favors, or be used as currency.

They are Pets. They are for 'petting'. I believed such a creature was a luxury trinket. Expensive and pretty, but otherwise without function. (But soooo irresistable!)

Then I met Freya. She's a sweet, loving, purring Cute-Tip. Watching what she's done to my writer and her husband is a little freakish. They've gone from normal humans to gushing idiots. (The cat probably thinks her name is "I love you, Pretty Girl.")

The weird thing? She makes them happy. How did something that does nothing much more than eat, sleep and poop manage that? It's like they're under a spell. No wonder your ancestors thought they were evil.

Fishing for answers

So, let me get this straight...

You sit in a rickety vessel designed to perch on water's surface. With a stick. And a nasty metal hook attached to flimsy string.
Then you impale a defenseless invertabrate on the pointy end, and dump it in a lake or river.

 Then what?

You wait. For hours. And this relaxes you? I can't see how. Hunting and foraging for food isn't leisurely. Not for your ancestors it wasn't. That is why they invented NETS.

I mean you understand catching dinner one morsel at a time is inefficient for survival, right? I could swear the entire exercise appears to be nothing more than an excuse to sit on ones posterier and drink beer all day and....Oh. I see. Nevermind.



Photo by: Carlos Porto/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Turtle Camping

Turtle people are fascinating.

You know who I mean. The ones who creep the highways of our country with all the modern conveniences of home away from home attached to their vehicles. I believe you call them RV campers.

I don't really get it. I thought the concept of camping was to get away from all your modern day conveniences and experience living like a cavedweller. Why cook food on a stick when you brought your stove? Why drive hundreds of kilometers to mosquito infested forests when you have a screen door? You cannot live like a Neanderthal when you brought your plumbing and toilet paper. You're only experiencing part of the misery. Why not stay home and save yourself the effort?




Photo by: frederico stevanin/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Cave Dwelling

What is it about summer that transforms humans back into unwashed primitives? The weird concept of cooking your food over fire was one thing, but camping is quite another.
 You have perfectly good dwellings at home, yet you voluntarily traipse off into the wilderness, abandoning your electricity and plumbing, just so you can sleep in wee canvas and plastic huts.
I don't understand this"Roughing it" concept. Am I to understand you people will drive hundreds of kilometers so you can sleep in tents with no light and no heating? And you do this for enjoyment? That you hunt for your own dinner in small craft with inefficent poles meant to only catch one fish at a time? That you cook your food over ancient means of open flame? Why go through the trouble of inventing toilets if you are content to pee in the bush? Your ancestors would laugh themselves sick....Actually they would run screaming and making hexing signs, but that's besides the point.
Let's say you are seeking to remove yourselves from the hassles of modern day life, go back to a simpler time. How does that explain the RV?



Photoby:foto76/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Caveman Cooking

      Ugh... What is wrong with you humans? You have all this technology. Cell phones,  computers, cars and more. Yet you insist on cooking your food like common Neanderthals.

     I speak of the Barbeque.

     Believe me, I remember your kind cooking your food over fire. You were scared to death of it, but somehow determined that it tasted better when shoved into leftover lightning strikes.

     Even stranger is your need to create advanced contraptions to cook over an open flame. And GAS. Not afraid of the hot stuff anymore are you? Your ancestors would be running for the mountains, hooting and bellowing...

     Is that a burger? With all the fixings? And potato salad on the side? Well, okay maybe just a bite...

Mmmmmmmmm....Barbarianism never tasted so good!

Photo by: Dino De Luca/FrreDigitalPhotos.net

Photography isn't cheesy.

This is my writer’s publicity shot. She had to pose, tilting her chin and head in various angles for over an hour, and this is the only picture she thinks actually catches her  personality.

She found the process tedious, but I think cameras are fascinating. Photography is interesting. Imagine taking the essence of one’s appearance and putting it on paper!

It’s a click and an explosion of light, and suddenly there is an image of the faces you know and love there on a screen, ready to be processed and put into a frame.

Eden had no such things. We never felt the need to process another’s essence, not when we can feel their pure selves in our hearts.

I understand why you do it, though. You humans have no telepathy. No means to envelope yourselves in the totality of a person. Not to mention your notoriously short lifespans.

I think it’s sweet that you can love enough that you’ll invent contraptions that will allow you to keep memories of those you love. But why do you all insist you look pasty and fat?

Photo by:Karen Bursey/ Photography By Karen
Edmonton, AB

Jumping for Spring

Spring is here! Spring is here!

I have a new sympathy for you humans. In Eden the temperature is always moderate, the seasons always warm and full of flowers and tickling breezes. The weather is always the same-beautiful. Only when one does not get to experience such pleasures for months at a time can one truly appreciate their return.

Even the rain is welcome. I will take that over the snow ANY DAY.  It’s time to rake the yard and break out the patio furniture! I can’t wait to hang out on the deck with a few brews or fire up the BBQ…..Oh dear. I’m starting to sound very human, aren’t I?

Photo by: m_bartosch/FreeDigitalPhotos.net