Thursday, October 7, 2010

From loincloths to tacky vests

How lucky you humans are! You have as many as four seasons! (But for some reason I've been told Canada only has two.) And fall is a lovely one.

 It's a lot of fun to jump into huge heaps of leaves too, but does this ritual usually involve the cursing and swearing of the human with the rake? What purpose does it serve?

Speaking of weird rituals, I have just witnessed your male bonding rites known as hunting. This involves donning orange vests along with other garments in brown and green. (When I obsessed about fashion last week, I had no idea men wore such ugly costumes for their manhood rites. And these colors don't even look good together!)

 Then they perch in one spot for hours. Waiting. Why can't you men use this skill for when we try on clothing at the mall?

And they cheat! Guns against antlers? Of course the Energy didn't give you horns of your own, but when your species was younger, the playing field was a little more fair. All that running away was great exercise too. Of course your kind didn't always live through the encounter.

Oh....I get it. Nevermind.


  1. My Dad is a hunter, and though I grew up with it, I've never fully understood the allure. Fishing, on the other hand... What kinds of food did you eat in Eden? Did your stomach require time to adjust?

  2. In Eden we were purists. We ate things that grow. So certainly I haven't eaten the killing of this strange sport. Perhaps next blog I will tell you of my fascination with human food. I enjoy the variety so much I'm almost glad I don't have my wings anymore. The extra weight would have made flying a strain.

  3. I myself have never grown up around hunters, so it seems strange to me eating "wild" meat. In otherwords Thoeba, the meat of deer, moose (those animals with antlers/horns), but I do enjoy fishing. It is very relaxing, just sitting on the water and feeling the boat rock back and forth. You should give it a try. If you don't want to eat the fish, you can always put it back in the water. We call it "catch and release" here. :)

  4. BOATS??!!!

    This thing you call fishing involves BOATS???!!!