Thursday, June 18, 2015

I am a Fearless Armadillo.

Now you know why writers drink.
When I set out to become a novelist, I honestly had no idea what I was getting into. I figured I would write the books...That's it. I would write the books, and someone else would handle the cover, editors, marketing and money. I would just happily write books.

BWA-HAHAHAHAHA! (Wipes a tear away.)

Just the task of marketing alone must be a testament to the determination of writers everywhere. You know just how serious you are about making it in this business if you are willing to struggle in the futility of finding readers for your hard work.

No, writing is not for the casual dabbler. First you have to write the book. Then you either find an agent and/or a publisher. That requires hours of writing emails for people who often ignore you or frequently reject you. Writers also need the skin of an armadillo. BE the armadillo!

Once you've done that, someone (the editor) will pick apart your work, but it's for your own good, and the good of your work. Be the Armadillo.

Then comes interviews, blogs and reviews, which can be fun...until someone doesn't like you or your work. DON'T piss off a blogger. I had one blogger 'friend' me on Facebook, and send the post she was going to publish. I POLITELY corrected her spelling of 'Thoeba', it's a common mistake for an invented name, and she blasted me, saying it was MY fault she misspelled it because she'd only copied and pasted everything. She went on a Facebook rant about 'disrespectful authors'. She didn't name me, but told all her friends to 'PM' her for details. Ouch. I am an armadillo.

Now I'm finding myself in a place where I've got the goods, but nowhere to put them. I've been looking at self-publishing. I'm a sweating armadillo. Now I have to learn how to format properly and meander around things like 'Createspace'. (Insert panicked laughter here.) I'm barely tech savvy enough to write my own blogs. I've done enough research to know that I will need an expensive editor. My grammar isn't up to snuff, and I doubt my knowledge of legalities is either. Time to toughen up, and open my wallet. Time to learn things and try something I never wanted to do. Sometimes you have to do things BECAUSE you are afraid of them.

I am an armadillo, and I really wish I could curl into a tight little ball right now.
Tiny ferocious Dragon Ball, that's me. RAWR!
Wish me luck.

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