Thursday, December 16, 2010

Ode to voluntary Christmas Misery


     I remember the first Christmas carols. How your ancestors performed them door to door and on street corners. This was of course before the iPod or MP3 player. Even before Walkmans and vinyl records.
     I remember how delightful it was that your species sang dozens of joyous hymns to celebrate a single day.
     I mean you certainly don’t do that for any of your other holidays. You seldom hear a jig for St. Patrick’s Day-or a chorus for a Halloween. Well…There are songs for other holidays, but not with the same exuberance as you have for that Jesus fellow and his chubby friend.
     I loved how your forefathers burst into song for their own entertainment and that of their neighbors.
     Then some diabolical genius invented the PA system. Things have never been the same since. Everywhere you go, Christmas music follows you. Throughout the malls and grocery stores, blaring through speakers and transmitted through airwaves like some malevolent form of mind control.
     It’s relentless! It’s evil! It’s self-induced! I mean really-How many Christmas CDs do you need when you are surrounded by it at every angle? And I have news for you. They are all the SAME SONGS! Just sung by different people.
     This smacks of self-torture not unlike ‘exercise’. Why don’t you people go all the way with it? Why not do your aerobics to Christmas music and drive yourselves ALL the way insane?


  1. Photo by :AKARAKINGDOMS

  2. Deck the halls with...
    Er, such a Grinch Thoeba :-) You'd hate to be in our house these past few weeks - my husband and I seem to be breaking out in song.
    Fa la la la la, la la la la....

  3. Really?

    Do you want me to send him to dance class for you? Or does that fellow who sneaks down chimneys take care of that sort of thing? Oh wait...I don't think he does the exercise thing. and some of those nasty tunes are about him. Come to think of it, he has a milk and cookie fetish doesn't he? I hope for your sake Jeff's insanity is temporary. ;)

  4. Theba, Christmas past and Christmas present are not at all the same. I'd take Christmas past to the present one any day. It actually meant something then. Now, I agree with you, it has turned into something so chaotic and torturous that it drives us all insane.

  5. Chuckling.

    There is ONE thing better about Christmas present...when one eats copious amounts of food in a cold season it is good to have indoor plumbing. Hmmm...Indoor plumbing...Now THAT was a great human invention. Perhaps worth blogging about.

  6. Couldn't agree with you more, Thoeba. The radio station we listen to at work has been playing Christmas all day since the start of December. Sometimes during a shift I hear the same song sometimes by same artist more than once a day.The other day it was Corey Hart`s version of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer twice. Once was more than enough.

  7. Unbelievable!

    May the Energy have mercy on your soul. I suppose you don't get paid extra to have your brain cells scrambled (Corey Hart=night terrors)