Thursday, December 9, 2010

Purchase till I plummet! :)

     There are no malls in Eden. Nor are there escalators or bits of plastic to buy things with.

     As I am experiencing my first Christmas on your world, I am told it is appropriate to buy gifts for your favorite humans, and they in turn will buy them for you. This is exciting!

     And exhausting. I have journeyed the length of this gargantuan structure known as 'West Edmonton Mall', and endured the circular ritual of parking. I have enjoyed  ingesting the vast varieties of food in your courts, and cheerfully tolerated that warm chicken-noodle-goat smell you humans get when you wear your jackets indoors.  And this is the holiday you humans celebrate for  Jesus? Just so you know, he didn't wear red, or have a white beard. (I met him before he came to your planet. Nice fellow, highly idealistic.) But I would love to know-What did you get for your favorite humans?
     For my chosen male copulation partner I have chosen a military grade tomahawk, a leggo man flashlight, organic sake with a genuine sake serving set, and fifty pounds of feta cheese. Do you think he'll like it?

     By the way, why do they call it a 'Master' card? My  favorite male says I'll find out when the bill arrives.


  1. You truly are a warrior, Thoeba, to brave West Edmonton Mall in December. I think Peter will LOVE his gifts. I have yet to buy my favourite human his presents yet, but he's easy - anything fishing, outdoorsy or sports related. Cha ching. Good luck with your Mastercard bill...

  2. Thank you Dawn,

    I must admit, I wished I could have flown over the crowd. Do you think that fellow with the red suit can bring my wings back?

  3. Ah, sadly, no. Santa is brilliant, but still mostly human :-)

  4. Really?

    Then how'd he get his sleigh to fly?