My Next Step

Cover by Terra Weston

Tough blog to write! Maybe it's because I am publicly admitting a certain level of defeat. I have made a decision. I'm going to look for another publisher for my next two books. 

The truth is, I hate self-publishing and I never wanted it. People keep telling me "It's the way to go. The independance is great!" Not for me it isn't. I don't know what I'm doing. I had hoped I would eventually get the hang of it after a couple of years but I haven't.

"You have all the control." I don't WANT all the control! I just want to write books! I don't know anything about advertising or marketing, and I'm too shy and Canadian to push my product on people.  I hate jumping through links and grinding through procedures that will allow me to publish my work. I've discovered there are still limits. Especially if you don't know all the rules.

Oh, and did I mention that everything I learned about computers in high school is obsolete? I know I'm not alone in that regard, but unlike many of my other fellow authors, I cannot just jump in and learn. I was born without ANY actual patience, and would prefer to be shown how to do it. Preferably with alcohol or caffeine and a good friend beside me. And quickly please, I have things to do. With writers being solitary by nature makes this a rarity. Oh yeah....and I don't want to learn it. Just writing this paragraph makes me feel petulant, as though I am being childish and demanding, but it's true. I wish I didn't have to do any of it.

I have recently realized that I procrastinate on doing anything relating to self publishing, and I don't procrastinate on anything if I can help it. But these days, I can't get anything done. I had to analyze why I would aggravate myself by deliberately avoiding something. Why am I procrastinating when I would rather tackle the toughest parts first? Because when I log into Createspace, I am immediately irritated and snarling outloud. I can't focus and I can't breathe. I don't want to be there. So...this is what anxiety means.

I'm not saying that I won't be self-publishing anymore. In many cases, it's necessary. I think Her True Name: Volume Two will be a hard sell due to it's open-ended series status, it's novella size and its historical/reincarnation/romance/mythology based plots, but I have to try.

Found this meme on CJ Rutherford's page after I wrote the first draft of this blog.

This revelation came because I'm learning to slow down. Usually everything is a race with me. I'm always in such a hurry. It's as if I'm terrified that my time will run out before I'm finished what it is that I need to do in this life. I've figured out that if I DON'T slow down, my time might get shorter. I wanted to be a successful writer with at least a dozen titles and at least a few best sellers by now. I'm a bit behind schedule. When I realized that I hated self-publishing and I recognized the anxiety it gives me, I thought about just giving it all up. THEN I thought, "Why am I pushing myself to the point where I'd rather give up than pursue what I love?"

And this one a few hours later. Thanks creepy Facebook algorithms. 

So I'm going to give myself some space. At the end, I might be successful, I might not be. But it's not going to happen overnight. I have to stop living my life in fast-forward, and expecting to find a finish line with the next sunrise. Everything I do today, this blog, my books, my social media--is building a long career, not a one hit wonder. Just writing this out makes me feel better about the future. I'm glad I told you.

So, YES! I'm writing more books! I just might take a little longer to get them to you. Stick with me. I'll make it worth the wait. Wish me luck!

The Thing About Edits

Yay! You've finished your novel! It took you months, maybe a year or so. You've overcome the dry spells, the self doubt, and constant revisions. You've added extra details and removed superfluous sentences. You gave some characters more to say, and eliminated others. You remembered to show, not tell.

Or did you? Now that you're gazing lovingly at your finished manuscript, it's time to look it over and berate yourself on what a clumsy, amateurish job you did. Oh, edits are fun.

You give it a good once over. Check your spelling, and count the sensory details. (Crap! Excuse me, I have to check Freya's reaction to her new environment in the Prologue. Don't forget to describe the setting.) Make sure the five senses are represented, and if applicable, include the sixth sense hunches and feelings.

Another run. This time you read it outloud, checking for grammar and flow. Did that sentence make sense as you read it? Did everything mesh together properly? Or were there pieces that pulled you out of the moment? Would an Old Norse Viking use the word 'demented'? No. They use the word 'beserk', and it's okay to use it more than once. Put the Thesaurus down.

Third run. NOW, we're in the thick of it. Read it like a reader, not a writer. It looks different. Are you pulled in? Are you bored? Why? Today, it was show and not tell. Fix it with a dialog between the characters about how they're feeling about arriving on Earth for the first time. Pick apart every sentence. You find a sentence you don't like, and you realize it's because it uses a lame cliche. Why say 'incomprehensible babble' when you can say 'words that fell from his mouth rolled, pitching high and low in an incomprehensible deluge. Like a song.' Answer your own questions. Like why doesn't anyone believe Heimo when he tells the villagers that naked strangers have arrived? Because one sentence claims Heimo has seen fairies. No one believes that either.

When that exhausting exercise is finished, you'll probably go over it again. Just to be sure. Because you're going to send it to Beta readers, people who love to read and will give you important feedback about your carefully polished offering. If they care about you and your work, they'll be brutally honest. Put your ego aside. This is your audience. If they find flaws, examine and correct them. Remember--"No one ever became great by being told they were great." --Stephen King (I think.) 

So we're done now? No. Hand it all over to a professional editor, and squirm as they take your baby and manipulate it into something palatable for the masses. Anyone who trusts their own objectivity and publishes without this step is an arrogant fool. Besides, it will only enhance your work, and make you look that much more talented. If you have a good editor, you'll barely be able to see them in the final product. 

I'm in the third edits of Her True Name: Volume Two. I just finished Chapter One, and it took all day. Here's a sad fact about edits...You'll never quite be satisfied. While I'm here writing advice, I'm clicking back to those pages I did today and tweaking them as I am reminded to practice what I preach. (Ooh...such a bad cliche! This blog is full of them.) 

Here's a happy fact about editing. It's hard work, but I'm glad to be doing it. I feel like myself, and I feel accomplished. If you wrote the book, edits are just a good way to make it the very best you can offer the world. Don't rush. Just enjoy the improvements, and know it's worth it.

Damn You, Facebook!

Freya in a box

It's Wednesday, eight o'clock at night and I'm just writing my next blog now. I never procrastinate, but I had yet to think of something to write about.

I thought, "Maybe I'll skip this week, after all I have a special one planned for August 1st. and no one hangs on their computer in the summer. I should work on that one."

"But FIRST I'll just quickly check my Facebook." Can you guess what happened next?

Yeah...It took me over an hour, but I managed to escape social media's slorping, suctacious grip.

I made a quick post about being so tired I kept trying to text with my remote control. Of course I had notifications...like, thirty of them I needed to check out.

My favorite photo of Dan and Sully

Aaaand of course people liked and commented on my post. I made a comment back about how when I did the opposite, all I get is the 'Freya Channel.' Thinking some people might not know who my pretty girl is, I posted the screen shot for my cell phone, a photo of my white cat wearing pink wings. (I didn't give it here, because it's been done to death and that one isn't published. Exclusive to this blog only!)

THEN it occurs to me that that particular picture wasn't in the album for my kitties, and it really should be. So I updated the album with that photo and a few more including the one above of Sully. Suddenly, there's more comments, mostly about the adorability of my furbabies.

Next thing I know, I'm having conversations with three people about cats, and I'm not getting any work done. All this for CATS. Yeah, I got it bad for felines.

Spartacus Jones, first week

I had to yank myself away...Even now, I swear I can hear the chime that tells me something new is happening. I'll have to go back soon...

But I think it's kind of funny. My frustration with Crackbook led to a topic for my blog! What do you know...I DID find something to write about. Gee! Thanks Facebook...sorta.